In the spirit of Marie Antoinette, the Flat Hat Magazine staff humbly presents our collection of guilty pleasure songs. These are the songs that we can’t quite get enough of. However, we run the risk of getting sentenced to the guillotine with each listen. Check out our complete playlist by scanning the Spotify code above. We invite you to indulge with us...if you dare.

Miserable at Best by Mayday Parade

According to Spotify, I’m in the top 3% of Mayday Parade listeners. And I haven’t said that with pride ever since I texted a friend this statistic, and she replied: “Please get therapy.” There may be a Mayday Parade stigma (please don’t CARE Report me), but I’m all for bringing back the 2000s emo ballads. But then again, I’m also that girl who wears black/too much eyeliner all the time, so maybe I’m just still going through my goth/emo phase 15 years later. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

JR Herman ’24

CHICKEN TERIYAKI by ROSLÍA

I made fun of this song when she soft-launched it on TikTok, but now it’s stuck in my head: “Pa ti naki, chicken teriyaki, tu gata quiere maki, mi gata en Kawasaki.” Stream MOTOMAMI right now!

Gavin Aquin ’22

Nine in the Afternoon by Panic! at the Disco

Panic! at the Disco was my jam in middle school, and while I can’t stomach listening to most of the band’s discography anymore, I don’t think I’ll ever get over my obsession with the 2008 pop-rock masterpiece of an album that is Pretty. Odd., and specifically, “Nine in the Afternoon.” It’s nostalgic for a time that simply doesn’t exist, transcending what we know to be real life. But the feeling associated with the time to which the band alludes is exceptionally real and tangible. You simply can’t listen to this song and not unabashedly sing along to its brilliantly nonsensical, infectious chorus.

Mary Beth Bauermann ’24

Cellophane by FKA Twigs 

I’m not proud of this one. Why didn’t she do it for you, Rob?!?

Ellie Kurlander ’24

Love Shack by the B-52’s

The song itself is pretty ridiculous by itself, but I think the guilty pleasure part really kicks in when someone finds out that I know all of the words and ad-libs in this song. Like, every single one. I used to be ashamed of it, but now I’m quite proud of this accomplishment.

Rebecca Altman ’25

BlackBoxWarrior by Will Wood

This is my current hyperfixation song, which just means it’s the song my roommate is forced to listen to at least four times per day. The impromptu therapy session in the middle of the song is the perfect mix of existential and nonsensical (which is how most of my therapy sessions go, so it’s perfect).

Emma Saunders ’24

Teenage Dirtbag by Wheatus

Sometimes you just have to celebrate the fact that you’re a dirtbag who happens to be a teenager. The song itself is so painfully mid-aughts that I wouldn’t be caught dead listening to it. 

Ethan Kula ’24

Sweater Weather by The Neighbourhood 

How can a song released almost a decade ago have such a hold on me? While this song is hardly something to be guilty about, I’ve never listened to it as religiously as I do now, so I guess you could call me hung up? Sorry not sorry that it’s the most intoxicating song in existence. 

Marion Biondi ’24 

She Don’t Know She’s Beautiful by Sammy Kershaw

I have no excuse for this song. I blame my parents and the offerings of early aughts-era iTunes. It was one of the approximately five songs my mom’s first iPod had space for. Sixteen years later, I still know all the words, and it’s an immediate honky-tonk hit of nostalgia. Don’t tell anybody. 

Mary Trimble ’23

Classic by MKTO

The fact that I’m this obsessed with a song most people stopped listening to in middle school should probably be disturbing, but I’m just gonna roll with it. It will forever be my most listened to song on Spotify.

India Turner ’24

Clarity by Zedd

Oh boy, this song takes me back to sitting in my room singing to my stuffed animals about a middle school boy who shamelessly thought basketball shorts and a neon orange shirt were acceptable to wear. Zedd single-handedly made me a 2000s emo, and yes, it is on my shower playlist.

Georgia Thoms ’23

Never Again by Kelly Clarkson

I forgot how much I loved this song until recently when I was eating dinner in Center Court and it played over the speakers. I could not hold back from attempting a surely-feral sounding falsetto during the bridge to properly pay tribute to the queen, Kelly Clarkson. Whenever this song comes on, something comes over me, and I cannot explain it any further. 

Alyssa Slovin ’22

#thatPOWER by Justin Bieber

The song itself isn’t bad, but it instantly takes me back to when I was at a sleepover in the fourth grade, listening to it on repeat because my friends and I were trying to learn the Just Dance moves for it. Is it sad that I know the entire dance by heart and will perform it on command, or is it impressive?

Kay Carter ’25

Summertime by cinnamons, evening cinema

“Saccharine,” encapsulated. But in a good way.

Linda Li ’24

Bad and Boujee by Migos feat. Lil Uzi Vert

Though this song may be cringeworthy now, no one can deny that it was an absolute cultural reset way back in 2017. Nestled between Melanie Martinez’s “Crybaby” and Halsey’s “New Americana” in my Amazon music library (may we forget about the Dark Ages before Spotify Premium Student), “Bad and Boujee” was regularly on my song rotation and convinced me I was the hardest lil trap star in ninth grade. And as much as I hate to admit it, I still know pretty much every word as a result — and yes, I will still get down to it, thank you very much. 

Vivian Hoang ’24